In the last Nehemiah Notes we noted that we can be too hasty to follow our gut impressions. In this article I want to look at the opposite problem -- how we can be too cautious about trusting our own judgment, even when we have good reason to follow our inclinations.
*    *    *    *    *    *    *    *    *    *    *    *    *    *    *    *    *   
Sometimes when counseling someone about a decision, I'll give this simple advice: Trust your judgment.

I may add something like, You are in a better position to decide this matter than you realize. Make the choice that seems best to you, and believe that it is the right path to take. Yes, trust your judgment.

There are two situations where I'm particularly inclined to offer this counsel. One is when someone has made a respectable effort to work through a decision, yet cannot muster the courage to finally resolve it. A common example is a man or woman in a long-term relationship who cannot decide whether to go ahead with marriage. The relationship may be a solid, supportive one, and there may excellent reasons to choose to marry. The person may even be reasonably convinced that marriage is the right choice. Still, they hesitate, fearful that they aren't seeing things as clearly as they should. This is someone who needs to be strongly reassured of their ability to make a good decision.

Another person who needs this assurance is someone prone to value others' opinions above their own. This often is the case with the person who is fearful to break off a bad relationship. A woman, for example, is pursued by a man who makes every effort to win her affection. After giving it fair consideration, she concludes that the relationship isn't right for her. Yet he persists, claiming that he has a better understanding of things. He may even insist that he knows that God wills for them to be together. She wonders in all honesty if he is right. And since he is a stronger personality than she, it's easy to cave in to his persuasion. Again, my counsel to her is, "Trust your judgment."

Typically, this advice is greeted with some surprise. "Doesn't Scripture teach us not to trust our personal judgment?" it's asked. "Doesn't Proverbs 3:5 tell us not to rely on our own understanding?"

I confess I wince a bit when I mete out this advice. Years of conditioning have left me with the same knee-jerk reaction to hearing "trust your judgment." It's typically taught in Christian circles that we shouldn't trust our judgment. If we've been Christian for any time, we've probably heard this notion preached so often that we feel irreverent even questioning it or considering whether there's another side to the story.

A Two-Sided Coin

Indeed, on one level Scripture does advise us to be skeptical about our own judgment. Proverbs 3:5-7 declares, "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight. Do not be wise in your own eyes; fear the Lord and shun evil."

Yet the Proverbs also prod us to develop the ability to make wise decisions. Admonitions to seek wisdom permeate the Proverbs. While these are given to challenge us to grow in wisdom, they do show that gaining sound insight is a realizable goal. Consider Proverbs 3:13-14: "Blessed is the man who finds wisdom, the man who gains understanding, for she is more profitable than silver and yields better returns than gold." That statement--and many like it in the Proverbs-- suggest that it's possible to exercise good judgment, at least if certain conditions are met.

Even more significant is Paul's assurance that we who follow Christ have "the mind of Christ" (1 Cor 2:16). This is a remarkable promise about the possibility of showing good judgment. Having the mind of Christ does not mean that our insights are infallible. Yet it does mean that we're beginning from an exceptional position of strength in our effort to make good decisions. As we make the right effort to clear our field of vision, we may be confident that we're seeing clearly to take steps of faith.

What do we need to do, then, to reach this point of confidence about our judgment? Here are several guidelines to keep in mind.

 Question your first impressions. We ought to have an inherent distrust of our first impressions. Ironically, it's those who find it possible to doubt their own judgment who are most capable of finally making competent decisions. But most often it's our initial assumptions which need to be called into question.

We each have been influenced far more than we realize by ideals of our secular and Christian cultures that hit wide of the mark of how God sees our lives. Programmed is a better word for it, for this influence strongly affects our standards of judgment. It's this internal programming which so often triggers our initial perceptions and renders them misleading.

Take "love at first sight," for instance. The romantic attraction that we first feel for someone--or the absence of it--often tells us little about our true compatibility with that person or our potential for a successful long-term relationship. In the last Nehemiah Notes, I cited a survey taken of 1,000 happily married individuals, who were asked whether, when they first met the one to whom they're now happily married, they believed this was the right person for them. Eighty percent responded no. It took time for them to move beyond their initial impressions and appreciate the true potential of the other person--and the relationship.

It's the same principle which writers, artists and other creative people almost always discover, sometimes the hard way. Writers often find that their first draft of a manuscript, no matter how lovingly nurtured, doesn't communicate effectively. A second or third revision makes all the difference. Artists have the same experience. Consider the testimony of painter Yasho Kumiyoshi: