During
my senior year of college I worked with a youth
ministry team at Fourth Presbyterian Church, in
Bethesda, Maryland. We were a bunch of
over-achievers, and, given the multitude of youth
and programs in this active metropolitan church,
that meant certain fatigue for many of us.
At a staff meeting one Sunday
afternoon a member complained to the youth pastor
that many of us were feeling considerably
overtaxed. He responded that we must learn to
place some limits on ourselves. "But,"
she replied, "Jesus never turned his back on
any person's need."
As quickly as the words left her
lips he shot back, "But you're not Jesus
Christ!"
At that moment it was as though
giant chains dropped from my body. As a young
Christian I simply assumed I was to imitate Jesus
in every way possible. This meant striving to
live at his energy level, and following his
pattern of continually responding to an
overwhelming variety of needs.
For the first time it dawned on
me that there was a difference between how Jesus
ministered to people and how I was expected to do
so. God had put me within a certain physical
shell, and I was to operate within its
limitations. Not only was it okay to pace
myself--I was required to do so. What a
glorious insight!
Many Christians never make this
liberating discovery. I've known many who feel
such an obligation to attend to every need which
comes their way that they are constantly
exhausted. They become saturated with
responsibility within their church, work or
community.
This same attitude leads some to
sink into demeaning relationships, where they
feel obliged to do whatever is necessary to keep
the other person happy. Marsha, a single woman in
her thirties, put it this way: "Many times
I've ended up in unsatisfying relationships with
men and not had the courage to break away. I feel
compelled to be a savior to them. I can't
manage the thought of hurting them. I do what I
think will please them, even if it means
sacrificing my own interests or becoming less of
a person myself."
Appreciate Your
Distinctiveness
Marsha's words--"I feel
compelled to be a savior to them"--well
describes how we on the youth ministry team felt
toward those under our care. We were trying to be
Christ to others rather than simply letting him
use us as his instruments. Little wonder we were
burning out in the process.
As I've grown in my understanding
of what it means to serve Christ, I've found it
helpful to think of my role as being a gift
to other people, rather than a savior--which
Christ alone can be to them. Paul suggests this
way of thinking in Ephesians 4, when he refers to
people in certain callings as gifts. "And
his gifts were that some should be apostles, some
prophets, some evangelists, some pastors and
teachers . . ." (v. 11 RSV). While Paul
talks elsewhere of God giving gifts to
people, he speaks here of individuals being
gifts. As the NIV expresses it, "It was he
who gave some" to fulfill different callings
(Eph 4:11). I'm certain that Paul meant the
thought of individuals being a gift to apply not
only to those in the specific roles he mentions
but to all Christians; in verse 7, for instance,
he says, "to each one of us grace has been
given as Christ has apportioned it." Each of
us who follows Christ is a unique gift from him,
to the body of Christ and the world.
I like the notion of being a
gift, for while it suggests that we have
considerable responsibility to others, it puts
our obligation in right perspective.
For one thing, being a gift means
that the burden ultimately rests with God, who
gives to others through us. There is great rest
in knowing that he is doing the giving.
Our responsibility is simply to learn to respond
to him, so that he will be able to make us the
gift he intended. It's to this end that Jesus
promised, "my yoke is easy, and my burden is
light" (Mt 11:30).
Being a gift also brings to mind
our distinctiveness. A gift is special because it
is distinctive. Scripture constantly attests to
the fact that God fashions each of our lives
differently, in order to make us each a unique
gift to others. Throughout the pages of Scripture
we encounter hundreds of individuals who were
loyal to God and did his will, yet displayed
profound individuality. Never do we sense that
God wanted any of his servants to become a clone
of any other.
God has given us each a
one-of-a-kind mix of qualities. We each have
certain talent and potential, a particular energy
level, tastes and affinities which make us
different from anyone else as our fingerprints.
As we come to understand our distinctiveness, we
are called to invest ourselves in the most
effective possible way to help other people. Yet
we are also obliged to be good stewards of the
gift which God has made us to be. This means
placing limits on ourselves--not for the sake of
laziness or self-indulgence, but to be the best
gift possible in our service for Christ.
As a friend of mine put it,
"By declaring that he was fruitful in every
good work, Paul certainly meant that he took on
no more work than he could be fruitful in
doing."
The Benefits of Delegation
Of course, life is never an exact
science. Emergencies occur. We must always be
willing to be flexible. At the same time, we must
not forget that we are part of a body of people.
We can take our own importance too seriously and
take on responsibility that would better be
delegated.
In my work with Nehemiah
Ministries, I receive various requests for
counseling. While I try to bend to them whenever
possible, I sometimes decide to refer someone who
is seeking my help to another counselor--either
because of my own time constraints or the
person's particular needs.
A woman once phoned me, asking
that I provide some sessions of premartial
counseling for her and her fiance. She insisted
that she was certain I was the right person to
help them, and stressed that their need was
especially urgent. The savior side of me wanted
to jump in and rescue them, and I almost agreed
to meet with them. But when I looked at what was
on my schedule at that time, I realized that
taking on this responsibility would jeopardize
other commitments I had already made.
Suddenly I remembered a
pastor-friend who had recently told me of his
desire to begin a family-counseling practice. I
suggested that she phone him, and she was pleased
with the idea. As it turned out, he was delighted
to have this opportunity and probably did a
better job helping them than I would have done.
If I had given into my savior instinct, a number
of people would have been less well served.
Delegation in Scripture
Scripture often points to the
importance of delegation. Important leaders
throughout the bible understood the need for
delegation and used it impressively. Even Jesus,
who didn't have to delegate to carry out his
work, did so often--giving his disciples the
privilege of being partners with him in his
mission.
On at least two occasions, for
instance, Jesus fed huge gatherings of people
with only a handful of loaves and fishes (Mt
14:13-21, 15:29-39). He certainly could have
performed each of these miracles on his own,
without anyone's help. Yet in each case he
allowed his disciples to participate in the
process of feeding the crowd from start to
finish--by having them first organize the people
into groups, then distribute the food, then
gather the leftovers.
Scripture's most graphic picture
of the failure to delegate is shown in an
incident from Moses' life, described in Exodus
18:13-26. Moses' father-in-law, Jethro, comes to
visit him while the Israelites are traveling
through the desert. Jethro soon recognizes that
Moses is profoundly overextended, spending most
of his day settling arguments among the
Israelites, who "stood around him from
morning till evening" (v. 13). When Jethro
asks Moses why he is spending so much time being
the people's legal referee, Moses responds,
"Because the people come to me to seek God's
will. Whenever they have a dispute, it is brought
to me, and I decide between the parties and
inform them of God's decrees and laws" (vv.
16-17).
Interestingly, Jethro, far from
commending Moses' heroic exertion, counters,
"What you are doing is not good. You and
these people who come to you will only wear
yourselves out. The work is too heavy for you;
you cannot bear it alone" (vv. 17-18).
Jethro--himself a priest--then
counsels Moses to choose qualified leaders among
the people to share the responsibility with him.
While Jethro doesn't recommend that Moses fully
relinquish his judicial role, he does urge him to
concentrate on what is most important and to let
others handle the less demanding tasks.
"Have [the men whom you choose] serve as
judges for the people at all times, but have them
bring every difficult case to you; the simple
cases they can decide themselves. That will make
your load lighter, because they will share it
with you. If you do this and God so commands, you
will be able to stand the strain, and all these
people will go home satisfied" (vv. 22-23).
Moses fortunately followed
Jethro's advice and delegated many
responsibilities. Numerous people surely
benefited as a result. The Israelites who sought
judicial help were able to obtain it more quickly
and easily. Those who were chosen as judges were
given the chance to be productive, and to employ
gifts which they otherwise wouldn't have
developed or put to use. And Moses himself was
able to conserve his energy, and to focus more
fully on his primary task of giving visionary
leadership to his people. Moses' decision to
delegate was clearly a win-win proposition from
every angle.
Taking Heart and Taking
Control
Delegation is an art to be
learned. While some people are instinctively good
at it, most of us have to remind ourselves often
that certain responsibilities we're inclined to
take on would better be handled by someone else.
As we become more effective at delegation, we not
only reduce our own stress level, but give others
opportunities to be useful which so often they
welcome. Delegation also frees us up to
concentrate on using our most important talents
and on helping others in our most effective ways.
Just as Moses did, each of us
needs to learn to be the gift to others which God
has designed us to be. While being this gift
means bearing significant responsibility, we may
take heart in knowing that there are limits to
our responsibility as well. As we work
energetically within these limits, we will best
serve others for Christ's sake.
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