R
ita
was in a dead-end relationship and very confused
about God's will. She phoned me one evening,
anxious for my advice.
She had been through two previous
dating relationships where her hopes had been
seriously disappointed, she explained. Finally,
she had taken a step to keep the pattern from
repeating. She told the Lord that she wouldn't
date another man unless her mom was confident he
was the one she should marry, and she asked that
her mom's approval would be the indication that
she had found God's choice. She was bound and
determined not to make a mistake about God's will
again.
After making her resolution, Tom
asked Rita out. Her mom felt that Tom would make
an excellent husband for her, so Rita accepted,
eagerly hoping she had finally found the man God
wanted her to marry. The time with Tom was
enjoyable and only intensified her hope. Yet
unfortunately six months had now passed, and she
hadn't heard from him again.
Rita not only felt rejected, but
perplexed about God's will. How could her mother
have been so confident that Tom was right for
her, yet Tom not be following through? Should she
simply assume that Tom was God's choice and
continue to wait?
I told Rita that I admired her
respect for her mother's opinion. Our parents'
counsel can be so beneficial in our big
decisions. Yet to expect her mom to know the mind
of God unerringly in this matter was to lay a
burden on her too great for any human to bear.
Rita would ultimately need to make her own
decision, weighing her mom's advice along with
other factors.
Rita didn't dispute what I said,
but in frustration replied, "How, then can I
know for certain?" If her mom's
advice were not an infallible sign of God's will,
in other words, what would be? Here we
came to the heart of her dilemma. Rita assumed
she could have certainty about God's will for her
marriage choice apart from discovering it in the
step-by-step process of building a relationship.
Rather than seeing God's will as something to be
discerned through her experience, she assumed it
could be found in some external way beforehand.
Waiting for Unmistakable
Guidance
The belief that God will give
advance certainty of his will is held by many
Christians, not only regarding the marriage
choice, but about other major decisions as well.
It's assumed that if you're spiritually mature
enough and properly alert to God, he'll give you
a "call" to do something--even before
you've made any effort to move in that direction.
This call may be independent of what your
experience or logical judgment would otherwise
indicate. This notion is often held with the most
reverent intentions, to be sure, and I believed
it myself as a young Christian.
One unfortunate result of this
assumption is immobility. You can wait
indefinitely for a clear signal from God and fail
to take the very steps that will broaden your
experience and give you a basis for understanding
what he wants you to do. Or you can get locked
into an unfruitful situation. Although Rita's
relationship with Tom was going nowhere, she
thought in all sincerity that God may have laid a
mandate on her to wait for Tom to come to his
senses. This made it difficult for her to let go
of her hope and take steps toward building other
relationships.
No Crystal Ball
Our desire for advance certainty
of God's will is only too understandable, and on
one level it's commendable. Our greatest concern
should be to know God's will and do it. There was
much about Rita's attitude to be respected.
Scripture, though, gives us
little reason to expect that we will find God's
will for our personal choices apart from going
through the normal and often challenging process
of decision making. This isn't to say that God
doesn't guide us or doesn't have a will for our
personal decisions. Yet his guidance typically
comes in a subtle, not dramatic fashion. He
guides our thinking as we prayerfully take
responsibility to work through decisions. From
our standpoint, we may not feel that anything
mystical or supernatural is occurring--it just
seems that we're going through a normal
decision-making process. Yet God is influencing
this process, and in time his guiding hand in our
life often becomes evident.
God can give us unbending
certainty of his will in advance, or a dramatic
call to do something, to be sure, and on rare
occasions he may guide in this way. Scripture,
though, never teaches that we should expect
this sort of guidance from God or seek
it. Rather, we should give our attention to
prayerfully making responsible decisions.
Guidance in Paul's Life
Consider the experience of Paul,
around whom so much of the New Testament centers.
In spite of his remarkable spiritual maturity,
his experiences of direct supernatural guidance
were very few. Most of his major decisions were
made in a practical, step-by-step manner. He
rarely had certainty of God's will for his
future, but only enough insight for the steps
right in front of him.
In 1 Corinthians 16, for example,
he tells the Corinthians that he longs to enjoy
an extended visit with them. "For I do not
want to see you now just in passing; I hope to
spend some time with you, if the Lord
permits" (v 7 RSV). He goes on to explain,
however, that he cannot come to see them right
now but is obliged to stay in Ephesus: "But
I will stay in Ephesus until Pentecost, for a
wide door for effective work has opened to me,
and there are many adversaries" (vv 8-9
RSV).
If Paul had received a direct
revelation from God to stay in Ephesus, he surely
would have mentioned it here, for he wanted to
give the Corinthians all the evidence he could
that he was following God's will by not coming
immediately to visit them. He says nothing about
receiving dramatic guidance, however, but simply
notes two practical factors that influenced his
decision: he has an exceptional opportunity to
minister ("a wide door for effective work
has opened to me"), and he has significant
challenges to meet ("there are many
adversaries").
It is also interesting that while
Paul seems to feel strong conviction about God's
will for the present--that he should stay in
Ephesus--he is tentative about God's will for his
future. He expresses earnest desire to visit the
Corinthians, but adds that he'll do so only
"if the Lord permits." He stops short
of saying that he knows God wants him to go to
Corinth or that God has assured him this will
happen.
When we carefully study Paul's
life, we find that in most situations his
conviction about God's will was similar to what
it is in this passage. He often had strong
confidence about what God wanted him to do in the
present. His understanding of God's plan for his
future, though, was usually tentative at best. He
discovered God's will one step at a time, and
many times found himself revising his plans as he
moved forward (Acts 16:6-40). This pattern of
finding God's will step-by-step was so common in
Paul's life, that we may assume it reflects what
our own experience with guidance will likely be.
Too Much Guidance Could Hurt
Us
When we stop and think about it,
there are many reasons why it wouldn't normally
be healthy for us to have prior certainty of
God's plans for our life. For one thing, we would
miss the growth that comes from taking
responsibility to work through decisions. Knowing
God's long-range intentions for us would sap our
incentive to develop our ability to think and
make responsible decisions.
In addition, we would be deprived
of the sense of adventure that only comes when
there is, from the human angle at least, a sense
of risk in what we're doing. We shouldn't
underestimate the importance of adventure to our
health and well-being. God has created us with a
significant need for adventure. I am certain that
when Jesus promised us abundant life in John
10:10, he was speaking not of a life free from
challenge but of one laden with adventure. We
shouldn't expect that God will guide us in a way
that removes the element of adventure from our
decision process.
Furthermore, knowing God's will
for our future could be frightening, especially
if we had reason to fear what is coming up.
But most important, advance
certainty of God's will would diminish our need
for trusting Christ. Feeling as though we had him
locked in, we would loose our incentive for
obedience and for depending on him continually
for fresh guidance. We would be inclined to put
our faith in our vision, rather than in Christ
himself.
Indeed, it's by taking steps with
our life when our sight is less than perfect,
that we put ourselves in the best position to
develop unshakable faith in Christ.
Free to Take Initiative
While we may find it frustrating
to face the limits of our knowledge about God's
will, there's a liberating side to what we're
saying. It's the fact that it's okay to make a
major personal decision in the face of less than
perfect certainty. We don't have to wait
indefinitely for an unmistakable sign from God
before going ahead.
Of course we should never be
foolhardy in making decisions. We should take
care to get the best information we can and to
work through a major decision carefully. We
should approach it with plenty of prayer and with
the highest desire for God's will. Yet when we've
made a reasonable effort to pray and think things
through, we should feel free to go ahead and make
our best choice, even though some doubts and
questions remain.
To say it more emphatically, it
will be necessary at times for us to move
ahead in the face of some uncertainty if we're to
realize our potential for Christ. We may even
need to do so in what for many of us is the most
challenging decision we face in life--the
marriage choice. While a decision for marriage
should never be rushed, and while we should make
every effort to approach it wisely, if we wait
for unbending certainty, we're likely to wait
forever and never decide. Our goal should be to
have reasonable certainty, but not perfect
certainty.
We will need to take similar
initiative in other major decision areas as well,
such as career, job choice and church
involvement. Yes, it might seem easier if God
would first give us perfect certainty of his will
before we would be expected to commit ourselves.
But the good news is that we don't have to wait
for this level of certainty. We are free to take
responsible steps to improve our life, to solve
problems, and to realize the potential God has
given us!
Enough Light to Step Forward
If you are facing a major
decision, yet are uncertain what God wants you to
do, don't assume that he has abandoned you or is
unconcerned with guiding you. He may have already
given you more guidance than you realize. If you
are a child of his, he has been guiding your
whole thought process and bringing critical
information to your attention, through all of the
practical steps that you've taken to resolve your
decision. You may be closer to resolving your
decision than you realize.
Pray earnestly that Christ will
direct your thinking and give you a heart that is
open to his will. Make a reasonable effort to
work through your decision, and get the most
informed counsel you can. Then weigh the facts as
you have them and make your best decision,
knowing that God will throw further light on your
path as you move ahead.
Then enjoy the remarkable
adventure of taking a step of faith with your
life!
Just remember, that faith always
involves trusting Christ and moving forward--even
though all of the facts are not yet in.
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