Hebrew tradition required mourning the death of a loved one for a substantial period, often thirty days, and Scripture gives many examples of godly individuals doing so (Gen 23:2; Lev 10:6; Num 20:29; Dt 34:8; 1 Sam 25:1, 28:3; 2 Sam 1:12, 11:12, 13:37; 1 Ki 13:29, 14:18; 1 Chron 7:22). The practice continued into the New Testament Church; thus when Stephen was marytred, "Godly men buried Stephen and mourned deeply for him" (Acts 8:2 NIV). Even Jesus wept upon encountering Lazarus' tomb (John 11:35, and when he saw Mary "weeping, and the Jews who had come along with her also weeping, he was deeply moved in spirit and troubled" (John 11:33 NIV).

The healing value of grief is sometimes missed even by responsible Christian teachers, who assume that if our faith is strong enough, we'll maintain a positive attitude through any adversity. Scripture, though, never bypasses the process through which we gain the attitude of faith. Grief is essential to the process when we've experienced a loss that has crushed us.