In a
popular book on realizing your potential, entrepreneur
Harvey Mackay offers a simple recipe for living successfully. "You have to want
[a result] more than you want
anything else in the world," he insists. Only pursue a
goal that passionately enthralls you, in other words.
But, Mackay adds, "most important, you have to be sure
you never get it."*
Mackay is talking tongue-in-cheek--somewhat. He isn’t
suggesting we should prevent ourselves from reaching a dream,
nor is he encouraging self-sabotage. Nor is he saying we
shouldn’t celebrate our victory. Far from it. What he is
saying is that we shouldn’t let the success become our final
resting place. We should take what inspiration from it we can,
then move on to new pursuits.
We do best not to let ourselves feel too
successful, Mackay means. It’s far more healthy to continue
to feel that we still have worlds to conquer. He adds,
"The successful people I know always have a carrot in
front of them, slightly out of reach, no matter how many
carrots they already have."*
I recall John Updike offering similar advice to writers in
an interview featured in Time some years ago. Though I’ve
long since lost the magazine, I’ve never forgotten his
counsel, which has seemed like a personal admonition ever
since. No one "goes bad" more frequently and
thoroughly than writers, Updike noted. Authors who have a
brush with success may conclude too readily that anything they
write is wonderfully appealing. They stop agonizing over their
material so much, and begin publishing first drafts rather
than third. They lose their edge, and their readers lose their
interest.
Humility, Updike observed, is one of the most essential
requirements for good writing. We who write do best not to
focus on our successes--the reviews, the accolades. We should
give our energy instead to the work ahead of us, and keep that
challenge as great as possible. And we should never imagine
that we’ve reached a plateau where we no longer need to go
through the same arduous process that has enabled us to write
effectively in the past.
Psychotherapist David Richo offers such
counsel in a broader way in Unexpected Miracles. Life
presents us with many fortuitous surprises, Richo explains.
Yet we must stay adequately challenged to experience them; if
we let ourselves become too comfortable, we blunt the
possibility of surprise. "Are you setting up your life so
that there will be no surprises?" Richo asks. "Is
everything too orderly? What do you lose that way? Is fear
behind your not being surprised very much these days?"*
Keeping Motivation Strong
One of the greatest challenges we face is knowing how to
move forward with our life once we experience success or have
a taste of it. Success can be a tonic to us--in the most
healthy sense--boosting our self-esteem, giving us confidence
we can achieve our goals, and spurring us on to new dreams.
Success can also be a tranquilizer,
lulling us into a life that’s too comfortable and
predictable. Or it may incline us to keep some challenge
present, but not at a level appropriate to the potential God
has given us or to our own need for growth and stimulation.
Halford Luccock notes, "There is a major disaster when a
person allows some success to become a stopping place rather
than a way station on to a larger goal. It often happens that
an early success is a greater moral hazard than an early
failure."*
We are always happiest, healthiest and most productive when
our life is strongly in a growth mode. We are most likely
realizing our potential when we’re being driven by childlike
enthusiasm for a dream, that fires us to spring out of bed
when the alarm rings and move as quickly as we can to salvage
every moment possible to work toward our goal.
This isn’t to say that we have to have a radically new
dream on the horizon at all times in life. Dreams come in two
varieties--those we pursue, and those we live out. Some
achieve a dream early in life that fits them so well they
spend the rest of their life living it out, yet they do so
with energy and creative initiative. In reality, they are
responding to many new dreams--these simply fit clearly within
the cherished role in life they’ve attained.
Many of us go through periods like this. We’ve achieved a
dream so meaningful, and demanding in its responsibilities,
that we’re compelled to give our full attention to living it
out. While we may pursue many goals within this dream, we’re
wisest not to let unrelated interests divert us.
Over a lifetime, though, most of us are not so unilateral
in our approach to life, but we discover God’s plan through a
more circuitous route. From time to time we need a clearly new
dream to keep our life on the growing edge. For us, the
temptation may be to settle prematurely for a level of
accomplishment that doesn’t represent God’s best for us.
Pacing Ourselves
In stressing the importance of keeping our life in motion
toward dreams, I don’t mean to downplay our need for
leisure. We each need times when we turn off the mental
generator. We need rest and relaxation daily and sometimes
extended periods of leisure. I’ve long been impressed that
Scripture--especially in its extensive counsel about observing
the Sabbath--emphasizes the importance of rest far more than
the need to gird up our loins and get to work. The Bible
unquestionably views overwork as a greater threat to our
well-being than laziness.
Scripture extols leisure not as an end in itself but as an
opportunity for rekindling our motivation for the work God has
called us to do. After Ezra and his highly motivated
companions traveled from the Ahava Canal to Jerusalem, for
instance, they "rested three days" before proceeding
with their challenging assignments (Ezra 8:32 NIV). The
revitalizing role of rest is shown especially dramatically in
Elijah’s recovery from burnout, detailed in 1 Kings 19:1-8.
Is it wrong, then, to seek leisure for its own sake? Is it unhealthy, for example, to dream of retirement as an
opportunity for unending leisure?
I’ve personally known many retired people who for years
relished the opportunity to stop punching the clock and enjoy
a life with few restrictions. Some of them disdained their
professional work, and long endured an unsatisfying career
with the hope for a major payback in retirement. Some of them
truly enjoy their retirement--and I must confess they are an
inspiration to me. They encourage me by their examples to take
life at a more reasonable pace and not to get obsessive about
work.
When I look at why these people enjoy retirement so
much, I find in every case that, while they are now taking
life at a more humane pace, their life still includes plenty
of activity. Some are active in recreational, artistic or
creative pursuits. Others, with large extended families, are
circuit riders, visiting children and grandchildren, giving
encouragement and helping with problems where they can. Others
give extensive time to volunteer service or ministry.
Retirement for these people is a treasured opportunity to
pursue dreams that have been dormant or half-realized for much
of their life. They are still very much about the business of
realizing their potential.
Others are bored in retirement, and some are simply
miserable. They’ve looked to retirement and its leisure as
life’s ultimate prize, but have found it doesn’t deliver
what it promised. They long for greater purpose in life, and a
greater sense of being useful.
Others begin retirement eager to pursue certain activities
that over time lose their appeal. Now they long for greater
stimulation.
The challenge for those who find retirement unsatisfying is
the lure of the comfort zone. They now enjoy a lifestyle that’s
at least comfortable and familiar. And they no longer have
financial pressure--a greater benefit than we usually
realize--to look for employment. The inertia can be broken in
this case. But it takes courage and decisiveness. It may also
require defying conventional wisdom.
Retirement As Sabbatical?
One such individual who defied both
inertia and conventional wisdom, and has long benefited, is
Robert Eisenberg. After working half a century in garment
manufacturing, Eisenberg retired in 1970 at 72, selling Zabin
Industries, which he had owned since 1954. "‘I was
ready,’ he says, ‘but I found it boring after about 10
years.’" At 82, he went back to work for Zabin. Today,
at 103, he still works full-time for the company, overseeing
zipper production. "‘He’s got remarkable mental
abilities,’ says owner Alan Failoa, 57. ‘The longer I’ve
dealt with him, the more I find myself forgetting his age.’"*
It may be argued that his is simply a case of exceptional
genetics. Yet it’s hard to resist the conclusion that
Eisenberg’s decision to resume his former career has added
years to his life; it certainly has added vitality to his years.
His example is unusual (he's believed by many to be America’s
oldest worker), and I’m not suggesting that most who are
bored in retirement should jump back into their former
profession at full throttle. It is the right step for some,
though. Many others who are restless in retirement will find
relief in resuming some sort of gainful employment.
What’s most helpful about Eisenberg’s example is
that it provides a different model for thinking about
retirement than our customary one--namely, retirement as
sabbatical. This is a much more inspiring and helpful
model for many of us than the traditional concept of
retirement as endless leisure, for it encourages us to realize
that, if we’re unhappy retired, we’re not locked into
staying so. There may be a multitude of new directions we can
take with our life, including many we’ve never entertained.
These may include resuming a meaningful career.
If you find yourself unsatisfied in retirement, at least
consider the possibility that God is intending this period as
a sabbatical for you rather than a permanent vacation. If you
take on a job or some meaningful activity at this point, you’ll
have a lifetime of experience to bring to your new calling,
plus the benefit of the time you’ve taken to get refreshed
and gain new perspective. The retirement-as-sabbatical model
can be positively thrilling, especially if you’ve felt put out to
pasture and doomed to stay there forever.
Embracing New Dreams
Let’s say you’re at a point in life where you’re
fairly comfortable. You may be retired. Or you may be young
and working eighty hours a week. But you’ve achieved some
goals that are important to you. Now you’re content with
your life as it is, and not greatly preoccupied with reaching
for new horizons.
How do you determine if this comfort zone is healthy, or
whether there is yet another star to which you should hitch a
wagon?
One critical question is whether you are truly happy in
this state. Your instincts will tell you a lot, if you read
them correctly. In sorting them through, consider these
questions:
Is there, in fact, a major improvement that you’d
welcome for your life? Do you fantasize about having this
benefit?
Is there a skill you’ve long cherished for
yourself, but have never developed or nurtured as fully as you’d
like?
Is there a need among people you know, or a more
widespread need in the world, you would love to help meet? Is
there a problem others face that you dream of solving, or a
contribution to others’ lives you dream of making?
Suppose you were at the end of your life, looking
back over it. Would you feel there is unfinished business? Is
there something you would seriously regret not having
accomplished?
Perhaps it’s only too clear that the answer to one or
more of these questions is yes. You have a dream--dormant
though it may be--which could easily resurface with the right
encouragement. If so, then I urge you to consider carefully
whether you’re allowing the need for security to keep you
from God’s best for your life.
I don’t deny that we have dreams that are better left
unpursued. Our need to feel important, or our compassion, may
lead us to fantasize about a certain accomplishment, when in
fact we’d have no taste at all for the work involved with
that role.
Jason, 55, has long daydreamed about becoming a pastor and
entering professional church ministry as a retirement
vocation. One motive is noble: he’d thoroughly love sharing
the gospel with people and having the best possible platform
for winning others to Christ. He has another motive that is
more complex and less trustworthy. He attended a missions
conference as a young man, where the speakers urged those
attending to enter the ministry as a career. He’s been
dogged with guilt ever since that he may have settled for God’s
second best by choosing accounting as his profession. He’d
relish the opportunity to atone for his possible mistake. And
he’d treasure the identity of being a pastor--a status he
imagines would boost his self-worth enormously.
In reality, Jason would have little heart for the endless
work with people necessary to minister effectively--the
consensus building, the handholding, the motivating--not to
mention the denominational politics. He’d also find the
process required for preparing effective sermons and talks
burdensome.
Jason’s pastoral dream, in short, is based too greatly
upon the imagined self-esteem benefits, and too little on a
love for the actual work involved. We each lay hold to a
number of dreams like this during our lifetime--where we
imagine we’d savor the status of a particular achievement,
yet in truth would not enjoy living out the role. These are
dreams best kept in the enjoy-the-fantasy category.
Such fantasizing isn’t unhealthy, providing the roles we
muse about aren’t themselves harmful or unhealthy. A certain
amount of such unrealistic wish-dreaming, in fact, is normal,
and vital to being human. It’s necessary if we’re to
effectively work through various options that appeal to us,
and settle on those that truly do work for us. It’s simply
important that we develop the discernment to distinguish
between those dreams that fit us well and those that don’t.
With that disclaimer, we each entertain many dreams that do
make good sense for us. We’d not only love the distinction
of the accomplishment, but would relate well to the
responsibility involved. The work and lifestyle changes that
would result, in short, are a good fit to our gifts and
personality.
These are the dreams we should be careful don't get
snuffed out when life gets too comfortable. The four questions
I’ve suggested may help you to ferret out such dreams, and
put them on the table again.
Giving Personal Vision a Fair Chance
Perhaps you’re not certain whether your answer to any of
the questions is yes. Before you write off the possibility
that any important aspirations are still brewing inside you,
let me ask you to consider the example of Moses. God called
him to spend the last third of his life in a role he found
immensely satisfying. He thrived on the leadership
opportunity, and the chance to make a critical difference in
the destiny of his people. His relationship with God grew
extraordinarily through it all, and his health seemed to
benefit as well, for at the time of his death at 120,
"his eyes were not weak nor his strength gone" (Deut
34:7).
Yet Moses at first held the opportunity God was offering
him in contempt--even though God called him through the most
direct revelation imaginable. He was certain he didn’t
want the job, convinced he’d be a failure, positive
he’d detest the work. With the possible exception of
Jonah, we don’t find a more dramatic example in Scripture of
someone resisting a call and failing to appreciate the
fortuitous opportunity in front of them.
The opportunity God presented Moses, though, was perfect
for him and fit his gifts and personality remarkably. He had
grown up in the household of Pharaoh and, probably better than
any Israelite living at that time, understood the palace
culture and how to communicate with royalty. He had also lived
with the priest of Midian for decades, certainly learning
volumes about how to be an effective spiritual leader.
Most important, Moses had a burning, though long-repressed,
instinct to fight injustice and champion better conditions for
his people. In his late thirties, he killed an Egyptian whom
he caught abusing an Israelite. Public resentment of Moses’
vigilantism, however, forced him into hiding. For the next
forty years--from age 40 to 80--he lived in Midian, tending
sheep for Jethro the priest, who gave Moses his daughter as
his wife. Life in Midian was comfortable for Moses--an early
retirement of sorts (Ex 2:21). After forty years of peaceful
shepherding, he had practically lost touch with the passionate
zeal of his youth. God knew it was capable of resurfacing,
though, with the right prodding.
Moses’ example is a striking reminder that we don’t
always understand our own aspirations very well. Inertia and
fear--ranging from apprehensions of failure to uneasiness with
success--may numb us from perceiving what we most want to do
and would be most effective doing. His example challenges us
not to be too quick to think that we’ve recognized all the
important horizons God has for us. And it stirs us to look
carefully at whether we’re allowing security needs or
unreasonable fears to shut down our ability to dream.
This isn’t to say that, if God leads you into a new
mission after retirement, it will necessarily require the
radical acceleration of activity that occurred in Moses’
case. There are other important biblical examples of such
inertia breaking besides Moses’. Abraham, for instance, took
a more leisurely approach to his later years than Moses did.
Following his father’s death, "he went out not knowing
whither he went" (Heb 11:8 KJV). God brought major new
adventures into his life: the birth of Isaac, with the
opportunity for parenting; a military mission to rescue his
cousin Lot; remarriage after Sarah’s death. Yet these
opportunities unfolded at a more relaxed pace than events did
for Moses. God never laid upon him the intensive leadership
responsibilities required of Moses, nor brought the level of
disruption to his life that Moses experienced.
If Moses gives us a model of retirement as sabbatical,
then, Abraham shows us the possibility of new dreams and
adventures taking place within retirement. When we
consider their examples together, we’re reminded that God
has different patterns and paces for each of us. What they
both show us is the importance of staying open to new
adventure, of continuing to dream big about our life, and of
never assuming that the most important chapters of our life
have all been written.
Their examples also remind us that--
God gives us the ability to carry out important
dreams in spite of what we perceive as inadequacies or even
severe limitations.
He enlightens us about these opportunities, and
may do so by inspiring new dreams, or by resurfacing old ones
that have long lain dormant.
The fact that we’re not experiencing some
burning new inspiration for our future at the moment doesn’t
necessarily mean we’ll never have fresh vision again. It may
simply indicate that God has a different timetable for
enlightening us than we expect.
This last point is perhaps the most encouraging of all, for
we can feel guilty or disheartened when no new dream seems to
be emerging. We may beat ourselves up for not
thinking big enough about our life, even though we’re making
a reasonable effort to do so. If, in fact, we are eager for
growth and new adventure, stay open and expectant about our
future, and continue to pray earnestly for God’s direction
and strength, we have strong reason to hope that he will, in
his time, inspire fresh dreams that bring important new
purpose to our life.
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